For Mom

Here's an email I sent to my mom recently.
I've decided to make it a more public thank you.

"Hey Mom.

I'm writing to let you know about something I've been thinking about lately - trust. I've always been astounded, even as a teenager, by your ability to trust. First it was your ability to trust God that I saw. You were my model, obviously, in trusting God in the face of the difficulties of Dad's accident. That trust in God then blossommed out into all areas of my life. I was also amazed at how you trusted God with our well-being - allowing us to experience life in wonderful ways, on motorcycles, skateboards and the like. I later discovered, especially in college, that you had an unusual ability to trust me, whether in dealings with money or encouraging me to go to Israel for a semester. I have always coveted that trust, holding it close to my heart, not wanting to break it.

I'm not sure why, but I've been thinking a lot about trust the last week, and I've been grateful (toward you) as I've found myself to be a rather trusting person. Our world is full of fearfulness, whether it be of what someone will think of us or concerns about money, and trust seems to be a rare commodity. We are encouraged to be so careful with everyone and to get everything in writing. I think it's a horrible way to live, though - constantly in worry about everything. I find it debilitating.

So I'm writing to thank you for teaching me how to trust, for letting me experience trust. In a world of very unstable marriages, I have no difficulty trusting Robin. Concerning difficult life choices about raising children and prusuing a PhD and finding a job (or two), I have little difficulty trusting God. I see people in the parking lot at the grocery store whose glances flutter about themselves hoping to catch some danger in the act of destroying their lives. Yet I find myself able to close my eyes for the last few steps to the car, and take a deep breath, and pause, and imagine the flight of the birds that I hear in the distance, and know that God knows their actual flight. Then I open my eyes and begin to put the kids in the car and the groceries away as an even deeper breath comes with the realization of how much more . . .

Thank you for modelling trust to me."